Emasculation

I heard electric cars are emasculating. I heard modern society is emasculating.

What the hell does emasculating mean?

According to Wikipedia: Emasculation is the removal of both the penis and the scrotum, the external male sex organs. It differs from castration, which is the removal of the testicles only, although the terms are sometime used interchangeably. [wow]

The Oxford languages definition: ‘emasculated’:

1. (of a man) deprived of his male role or identity. “insecure, emasculated men.”

2. made weaker or less effective. “an emasculated organization that is merely a shadow of its former self.”

I feel bewildered. Absentmindedly, I have been owned by my culture. I am a manfish that doesn’t realize its swimming. I’m reflecting... the other day I saw a 50-something man. He looked muscular with nice salt and pepper hair. He wore a charcoal blazer, fashionable blue jeans, and black glisteney cowboy boots. Most of all, he had swag. I was thinking: “[nod] solid dude”. I see a pick-up truck -most days- with dual tires; so tall! (almost too tall to see over the hood); two chrome stove style exhaust pipes pointing up past the cab; aggressive stickers with foul language. I think: “…dude is trying hard to be tough… if appearing manly is that important… damn, really, how tiny is his member?”

If you look back at the definitions of emasculated, you will see ‘weaker, less effective’, i.e., smaller.

So, were gonna talk about ‘people’ for a little bit. … and here’s a funny thing about being a man. It doesn’t limit us from having a ‘human’ experience at all. We love to categorize: young, old, male, female, nerd, athlete, artsy, intellectual, concrete, frivolous. Yet regardless of the ‘type’ of person, we’re all still people in basic ways.  

All people:

Aggrandizement:

It feels good to feel important. It feels good to receive special treatment. It feels good to be admired. It feels good to have people who want you to like them. It feels good to have people who need you to do what you’re good at. It feels good to have your desires accounted for by others. It feels good when people are grateful to you and show it. Freedom-privilege feels good.  It feels good to be safe and secure among a group of people. Feeling big feels good. I am not describing what it feels like to be ‘the man’. I am saying all people like to feel large and important.

Diminishment:

It feels terrible to be superfluous or un-useful. It feels terrible when you’re publicly outsmarted. It feels terrible when your hard work contribution to the team is unappreciated. It feels terrible to be harmed by another person. It feels terrible to be banished, exiled, excluded, unwanted, rejected. It feels terrible to see someone else receive the appreciation that you were counting on. It feels terrible to learn that people have said bad things about you to one another. It feels terrible to have your needs disregarded. Restriction and limitations feel terrible. Feeling small or ‘lesser-than’ feels bad. I am not describing what it feels like to be 'someone’s biatch’. I am saying all human beings hate to feel diminished.

All people have feelings and want their feelings respected. None are less deserving of empathy (sympathy is different than empathy).

All people want to have choices, and capabilities, and freedom. We each have our dreams, goals, visions for our future or legacy.

Overcoming emasculation (ego diminishment) has to do with being ‘right-sized’.

Ego diminishment is sensed before it is noticed intellectually. You will observe a pain in your chest or throat. You will despise the offender. You will be thinking vengeful thoughts. “They’ll learn what happens… gonna treat me like I ain’t shit? Hell no!” “Who does he fricking think he is.” Later on, you will talk it out with a buddy and they’ll say: “It doesn’t even matter what he thinks. He’s no-one. A few days from now its fixin’ to be ancient history, let it go.”

You can define bullying as “intentionally inflicted public diminishment”. THE AMERICAN MAN IS NOT BEING BULLIED. You are sensing diminishment but there is no bully.  

Yes. Perhaps a sense of diminishment is observable for the demographic of ‘men’ in recent generations. You might feel stiffed because you can't get the same outcome for the same effort as dad did, or grand-dad.

1. You are not actually a member of ‘team man’ because there is no male birthright. There never was a organized male community assuring your success. You are a single person amongst the people. If you are relying on some sort of male privilege, I must recommend refocusing on earning and deserving your position in your group.

2. The generational increase of a woman’s freedom, capability and worth… does not actually diminish a man’s freedom, capability and worth. That is an illusion based on the fallacious notion of male-female competition.

Ego diminishment for women... it might be my imagination but they do not seem to react to it the same as men. If they cope better, it’s not hard to understand why… they’re accustomed to the sensation of being ‘lesser-than’.

Men however, we are not so used to feeling small, being less skilled, being outsmarted, being viewed as less physically capable, being observably afraid, observably in pain or distress. Here is the trick… you are still very much a worthwhile person, regardless of anyone’s -including your own- imagined, traditional notion of hierarchy, authority, privilege.  

To summarize:

Our culture has a history associating 'manly' with 'virtuous, strong, leader, capable and free'. Society is scrubbing out the link due to obvious inconsistency, i.e., too many 'manly' men are actually unadmirable human specimens. We're seeing non-macho guys, feme men, masculine women, feminine women, gay, strait, and people anywhere on or off the spectrum are enjoying the joy of confidently and humbly being 'right sized'.

I think the term 'emasculation' will generally be used by people who are implicitly chauvinistic, women and men who seriously fear being observed outside their strict traditional gender expectations.

Meanwhile there is no ‘alpha’. Psychologically, the sense of emasculation is more likely explained by ego diminishment, a vestigial instinct, a powerful and dangerous one. In other words, when ego diminishment is viewed through a culturally male-superior gaze, it appears to be emasculation. Maybe you are sensing a diminishment based on your personal factors. Realistic or not, deserved or not, ego diminishment burns. Maybe you are noticing the curtailment of unearned male privilege... remember that it there is no 'team man', move on, maybe use the discontentment as motivation. It should go without saying... your virtuousness or admirability is not at all linked to your private parts and no one is trying to cut them off - literally or symbolically. Male is fine, not better.