Recovery real talk, The 'not that bad' Conundrum

People attach to what works and they keep working it unless its obviously a creating a problem. People only innovate out of necessity, typically.

If is theorem holds water, it’s likely that we won’t choose recovery until we are suffering severe consequences from our issues. But on the other hand, if change is not too painful, but likely to be more difficult in the future, a reasonable person will find motivation earlier avoiding a crisis.

We hear a lot of stories that indicate that mental health issues and/or addiction usually result in severe consequences (such as divorce, joblessness, hospitalization, or worse). But interestingly, although they're less visible, there are those who identify as High Bottom. They explain that they had enough suffering to provoke a change. With honesty and insight, they resolved to avoid making a bad situation worse. Some high bottom recoverers don’t lose much.

From a clinical approach, these individuals who choose a bottom early are successfully overcoming their issues, as opposed to not having a serious issue. For example, in the current diagnostic manual, DSM-5, addiction is defined as a continuum. Addiction can be mild, moderate or severe. For depression there are severities, same with anxiety and trauma responses. Obviously early intervention is a good thing. Isn’t it better to have fewer consequences and less impairment?

There is a not that bad conundrum that has to do with the thinking, “I am not that bad.” The truth is, we all prefer to think that way from time to time. Curiously, even a very severely impaired individual (betraying their conscience to favor mental illness effects or addictions) will occasionally think: “I haven’t ever…… [fill in the blank]; so my problem isn’t that bad.”

When an individual has only been occasionally indulging in a problematic mental habit or lifestyle, it might be true that they aren’t “that bad”. They may progress further into their disorder continuing to believe they are not that bad. At some point the “not that bad” thinking simply becomes denial. How does one know when their “not that bad” thinking has gone from true to a delusion?

Take note of when you observe yourself saying “I am not that bad”, or "Its only..."

· Identify the thought. Consider that some behavior choices are objectively unhealthy and any indulging should be considered carefully, not flippantly. Perhaps there is no habitual unhealthy behavior that is permissible to a rational person. Anything that comes after "Its only" is probably a bad idea.

· Next, regardless of how light or heavy your mental illness is, you’re only “not that bad …YET!” You can get easily get worse if you want to.

· Furthermore, if you are ‘not that bad’, GOOD! STOP NOW and WIN! There is no competition to suffer badly, no minimum level of impairment to qualify for motivation to change.

The only actual rock bottom is death. We choose our own rock bottom. Choose the bottom that you are at right now, the highest bottom you can have.